GENERAL RULES
1. Never take a beer to a job interview.
2. Always identify people in your yard before shooting them.
3. It's tacky to take an esky to church
4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it's time to change the sheets.
5. Even if you're certain you're included in the will, it's rude to take
the trailer to the funeral home.
DINING OUT
1. When decanting wine from the box, tilt the paper cup and pour slowly so
as not to bruise the wine.
2. If drinking directly from the bottle, hold it with only one hand.
ENTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME
1. A centrepiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a
taxidermist
2. Don't allow the dog to eat at the table, no matter how good his manners.
PERSONAL HYGIENE
1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this should be done in private,
using ones OWN keys.
2. Even if you live alone, deodorant isn't a waste of money.
3. Use of toiletries can only delay bathing a few days.
4. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a no-no, as it detracts
from woman's jewellery and alters the taste of finger foods.
DATING (outside the family)
1. Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially on the first date.
2. Be assertive. Let her know you're interested: "I've been wanting to go
out with you since I read that stuff on the dunny door two years ago."
3. Establish with her parents what time she's expected back. Some will say
10:00 PM; others might say "Monday." If the latter is the answer, it's the
man's responsibility to get her to school on time.
THEATRE ETIQUETTE
1. Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up after the movie
ends.
2. Refrain from talking to characters on the screen. Tests have proven they
can't hear you.
WEDDINGS
1. Livestock is a poor choice for a wedding gift.
2. Kissing the bride for more than five seconds may get you shot.
3. For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A tracksuit with a cummerbund and a
clean football jumper can create a tacky appearance.
4. Though uncomfortable, say "yes" to socks and shoes for the occasion.
DRIVING ETIQUETTE
1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles, even if the gun's loaded
and the roo's in sight.
2. When approaching a roundabout, the vehicle with the largest tyres doesn't
always have the right of way.
3. Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape.
4. When sending your wife down the road with a petrol can, it's impolite to
ask her to also bring back beer.
------------------
Ferdietjiekie - en ek onthou goed hoe die Romeine die Christene doodgemaak
het - daarom loop die pous met 'n skuldgevoel rond.
Beprk jou tot die onderwerp - in die geval Mugabe. Ons kan seer sekerlik
almal 'n sonde op die ander opdiep. Wat is joune? (Behalwe vir die duimsuig
joernalistiek...)
Gister is toe net Die Stem gespeel as ons volkslied. Sou dit nou 'n stille
nuwe reeling wees, of is die militêre orkes 'n bietjie agter die tyd?:))
--
Annette
So - toe herdenk die ANC kamerade 10-jaar van demokrasie deur Mugabe 'n
helde-applous te gee by die Uniegebou. (Op daardie oomblik het ek weereens
gewonder of die regse ouens se siening van dinge nie moontlik in die kol is
nie ...)
3 men, 1 German, 1 Japanese, 1 hillbilly were sitting naked in a sauna.
Suddenly there was a beeping sound. the German pressed his forearm and the
beep stopped. The others looked at him and questioningly. "that was my
pager" he said. I have a microchip in my arm. A few minutes later, a phone
rang. The Japanese fellow lifted his palm to his ear. When he finished, he
explained that was his cel phone, had a microchip in his hand. The
hillbilly felt decidedly low tech. Not to be outdone, he decided he had to
do something just as impressive. He stepped out of the sauna and went to the
bathroom. He returned with a piece of toilet paper hanging from his behind.
The others raised their eyebrows and stared at him. The hillbilly finally
said, "well, would you look at that. I'm getting a fax."
Die amptelike loodsing van Orania se eie geldstelsel vind op Donderdag 29
April om 18:30 plaas in Orania se Gemeenskapsaal.
Om hierdie geleentheid te vier word die eerste 100 reeksnommers in 'n
netjiese gedenkverpakking beskikbaar gestel. Elke verpakking bestaan uit
vier note (Ora10, Ora20, Ora50 en Ora100) met dieselfde reeksnommer.
Met die loodsing sal daar 'n veiling van die eerste tien gedenkstelle (met
reeksnommers een tot tien) plaasvind. Enigeen kan 'n bod plaas vir een of
meer van hierdie waardevolle stelle. Persone wat nie die
loodsingsgeleentheid kan bywoon nie, maar wel 'n bod op van die eerste tien
stelle wil plaas, kan met die kantoor van die Orania Beweging skakel om die
nodige reelings te tref.
Reeksnommers 11 tot 99 word verkoop vir R250 per stel. Reeksnommer 100 is te
koop vir R500.Hierdie gedenkstelle kan aangekoop word by die kantoor van die
Orania Beweging. Skakel gerus die Orania Beweging by 053 - 207 0062 indien u
daarin sou belangstel om so 'n gedenkstel te bekom.
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