| Re: Eksamentyd (van die Nomad-variasie) [boodskap #23956] |
Ma, 14 Junie 1999 00:00 |
![crunch (()) :c 8 |]] is tans af-lyn](/theme/default/images/offline.png "crunch (()) :c 8 |]] is tans af-lyn")
crunch (()) :c 8 |]]
Boodskappe: 102
Geregistreer: Mei 1998
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Leendert van Oostrum skryf in boodskap news:7jnlpc$3fi$1@kendy.up.ac.za...
Ek dog dat hierdie jou miskien sal opbeur:
TOGETHERNESS IN SY TOYOTA TAXI
Vir die wat nie van Engels hou nie en ook nie van die 'nomad-variasie'
hou nie, moet nie verder lees nie:
Nog af........
'n bietjie verder....
OK, nou het julle ook geen verskoning nie meer nie.
Nog 'n bietjie af........
(My apologies aan die wat dit alreeds ken, asook die outeur).
'Togetherness Tshabalala jinks his High Impact African Culling
Equipment
(Hi-Ace for short), with BMW hub caps through the rush-hour traffic,
occasionally using the pavement to increase productivity.
Togetherness
is a confident man with high spirits, as evidenced by the stickers on
his rear window "GOD LOVES TAXI DRIVERS" and "AVOID CONSTIPATION -
TRAVEL BY TAXI".
On the front of his taxi, between a large dent which, ominously, is
in
the shape of a large traffic cop, and the holes from a small spray of
bullets, is a lurid notice reading: "JUKSKEI PARK EXPRESS INAUGURAL
FLIGHT".
Using the word "flight" is Togetherness's own little personal joke.
What we are witnessing is the inaugural leg of what is hopefully to
become a daily service between Jukskei Park and Johannesburg - a 25
km
journey which takes 10 minutes - less if the pavements are open.
The percussion waves from Togetherness's powerful radio (taken from a
BMW Z3) pushes back the early mist. He is playing Boom Shaka's latest
low frequency, 120 dB hit (How low can we go). He hoots as he drives.
Togetherness hoots at anything he sees - including trees - as is the
custom of his people.
On board the taxi are a dozen white people. They do not come whiter
than
this. They are Omo white. They were not born white. No, their pallor
is
due to fear and stark terror.
Take John Mleka.
Never in his life has he done 0 to 100 km/h in six seconds -
especially
not in heavy traffic. Denise Mtha's colour has changed from
green-black
to a sort of waxen ivory as quickly as the last traffic light had
changed to red. (A colour that traditionally prompts taxi drivers to
make even more haste.) Togetherness regularly looks over his shoulder
while driving - even for a full minute - asking passengers their
destinations. Elizabeth Mrowno, sitting right at the back - has the
opportunity to say "Randbag centa" even though she works in
Johannesbag. Randbag was coming up fast and it suddenly seemed near
enough for her. She worries about how she will make her way to the
front
- but only fleetingly because the taxi has now reached Randburg and
Togetherness has stopped. He has stopped as suddenly as a plane
might
stop up against a mountain. Now EVERYBODY is at the front in a warm,
intimate heap. Elizabeth alights as gracefully as anybody can with
one
knee locked behind the other. She is vaguely aware of passersby
loosening her clothing and shouting, "Give her air!" Togetherness
bowls
happily along Jan Smuts Avenue, overtaking a police BMW that is
chasing
a getaway car.
Then he overtakes the getaway car too, exchanging boisterous
greetings
with the driver whom he knows.
Togetherness is steering with his elbows because he needs his hands
free
to check the morning's takings and to wave to girls on the pavement.
He
announces "Ladies and gentleman thees is your captain. We will
shortly
be landing in Johannesbag. Please make sure your seatbelts are in
the
upright position, and your seats are fastened. Thank you for flying
with us. We hope to see you soon again."
John Mleka is gripping the seat in front of him so tightly, that he
notices his finger tips have gone transparent, as a passing taxi
fires a
brief burst from an automatic weapon in his direction. Togetherness
now
reaches the city and merges with the in-bound traffic like his
ancestors
merged with the British at Isandlwana.
He stops at his usual disembarkation point in the middle of an
intersection and picks his teeth patiently while people sort out
their
legs and teeth before groping their way towards a pole around which
they
can throw their arms. By the time his passengers' eyeballs' have
settled
back in their parent sockets, Togetherness is already halfway back to
Jukskei Park with another load of passengers. Y-e-e-e-e-e-s !
>> '' Dis die soort ding wat my laat soek vir 'n
>> politieke party ver regs van die HNP waarby ek kan aansluit.''
(Leendert, uit konteks, aangehaal)......8>)
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