Future of the European Union.. [boodskap #37789] |
Do, 14 Desember 2000 18:53 |
Doos[1]
Boodskappe: 143 Geregistreer: Augustus 1998
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Now that Europe has successfully launched the introduction of a united
monetary unit, it is currently thinking of a united language.
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government
conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has
accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would be known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of
the "k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have one less
letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
troublesome "ph" will be replased with the "f". This will make words like
"fotograf" 20% shorter!
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expected to
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments
will enkorage the removal of double leters which have always been a deterent
to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibel mes of the silent "e"
in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th"
with "z" and "w" wiz "v". During ze fifz year ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd
from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer
kombinations of leters. After ze fifz yer ve vil hav a reali sensibl ritn
styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis und evrivun vil find it ezi tu
undrstand ech ozer.
Den ze dreem vil finali kum tru!!
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