Supertaal: Koeitjies & kalfies

Tuis » Algemeen » Koeitjies & kalfies » Rugbybeledigings

Wys: Vandag se boodskappe :: Stemmings :: Navigasie

Rugbybeledigings [boodskap #79689]

Do, 26 Junie 2003 07:22

Koot Pieterse
Boodskappe: 490
Geregistreer: Januarie 2002

Karma: 0

Senior Lid

Ek het hierdie van iemand gekry. Dit beledig omtrent elke rugbyland, maar op
so 'n 'n slim manier dat julle dit ook sal waardeer.

Subject: Rugby
Subject: International Rugby Board (IRB) Rugby World Cup 2003

Following complaints made to the IRB about the All Blacks being allowed to
motivate themselves by performing the 'Haka' before their games, other
nations were asked to suggest pre-match rituals of their own.

The IRB Rugby World Cup 2003 Organising Committee has now agreed to the
following pre-match displays:

ENGLAND
a.. The England team will chat about the weather, wave hankies in the air
and attach bells to their ankles before moaning about how they invented the
game and gave it to the world, and how it's not fair that everyone still
thinks New Zealand are the best team in the world.

SCOTLAND
b.. The Scotland team will chant "You lookin' at me Jimmy?" before smashing
an Iron Bru bottle over their opponents' heads.

IRELAND

c.. The Ireland team will split into two, with the Southern half performing
a Riverdance, while the Northerners march the Traditional route from their
dressing room to the pitch, via their opponents dressing room.

WALES

d.. Unfortunately the Committee were unable to accept the Welsh suggestion
following representations from the RSPCA.

ARGENTINA

e.. Argentina will unexpectedly invade a small part of opposition territory,
claim it as their own "Los In-Goals-Areas" and then be forcibly removed by
the match stewards.

SOUTH AFRICA

f.. Two members of the South African team will claim to be more important
than the other 13 whom they will imprison between the posts whilst they
claim the rest of the pitch for themselves.

AMERICA

g.. The Americans will not attend until almost full time. In future years
they will amend the records to show that they were in fact the most
important team in the tournament and Hollywood will make a film called
'Saving No.8 Lyle'.

CANADA

h. Five of the Canadian team will sing La Marseillaise and hold the rest of
the team to ransom.
ITALY

i. The Italian team will arrive in Armani gear, sexually harass the female
stewards and then run away.

SPAIN

j. The Spanish will sneak into the other half of the pitch, mow it and then
claim that it was all in line with European "grass quotas". They will then
curl up under the posts and have a kip until half time, when their appeal
for compensation against the UK Government will be heard.

JAPAN

k. The Japanese will attempt to strengthen their team by offering good
salaries to the key opposition players and then run around the pitch at high
speed in a highly efficient manner before buying the ground (with a subsidy
from the UK Government).

FRANCE
l.. The French will declare they have new scientific evidence that the
opposition are in fact all mad. They will then park lorries across the
halfway line, let sheep loose in the opposition half (much to the delight of
Wales!) and burn the officials.

AUSTRALIA
m.. The Australians will have a 'barbie' before negotiating lucrative
singing and TV contracts in the UK. They will then invite all their mates to
come and live with them in Shepherds Bush.